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Pandemonium
Yes, I'm messed up, but so are you.

Guilty
Tuesday, December 6, 2011



I feel like jotting down this story somewhere, just in case I forgotten. All this blabbering is for the future me, and I suck at telling story, so if you guys find this boring then there's nothing much I can do about it. D: Ha.

I get to know this really nice girl in 2008, she was with her then boyf who I thought was her brother, because both of them are like a twins. Same clothing, same smile, and they go everywhere together. Really cute. I consider us a normal friends back then, not too close but more than just a hi-bye friends. After graduating, we just slowly drifted apart and she was just another of my ex-collegemate. Little did I know, she is going to have such impact on me years later.

In 2011, I met her again, this time in a different country. It was my orientation week and so happen she is studying in the same university as me. I joined the club that she was promoting, went for the meetings every week for one whole semester. She asked for my final exam timetable, she wished me every night/morning right before each of my paper. It's really nice and warm to receive such message knowing someone out there cares about me. My selfish self acted out again, so during the second semester I stopped going to the weekly meetings for the club. So, we sort of back to the whole normal friends stage again. Then she asked for my final exam timetable again, this semester. I was shocked because you know, I performed my whole selfish act for one semester. She did wished me for each papers. So, I met her a few days ago in Coles, she heard that I'm eating bread for dinner. So, she suggested to deliver the Pumpkin Risotto and Tiramisu that she cooked to my house.

I never believe that people can be genuinely nice, genuinely good. If you ask me this few years ago, I'll confidently tell you that this type of people already extinct. I don't know where did I learn this from, I've always categorized everyone as selfish and somehow it shaped me into being a very selfish person. To me, being nice is just for a show and I'll find all sorts of distorting reasons to explain a kind deed. But she showed me, they haven't extinct just yet. Everything she does, I can't find any reason to not believe that her kindness is real. Who is she trying to show off her act of kindness to when she did all those things to me? No one. To be honest, I don't think I'll be able to do all the things she did for me, to some random friend.

I learned a lot from her, Thank you. I doubt you'll ever read this but thank you. (: You made a girl in Melbourne feels at home again, a girl who was mentally lost for awhile because loneliness and homesickness are eating her up.


/ 9:03 PM

the one & only
Chen Chin Shieng


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